Your marks alone don’t define your fate, endorses Mom.

twisha Dubey

It is an important day in your life my child, and I write as a mother to all the 16 + kids mini adults expecting the 10th and 12th board results today.

My wish? Embrace whatever your result is because we are all special, unique and alive today. And thank God for that!

Literally, can you imagine all of us, same marks, same school, same face, same food, same temperament, same IQ and even same parents!!

Really? HA!

…So let me share some thoughts that triggered me to make this day special and write about you, us parents and the world we live in.

I was driving a bit early to work today and I stopped at the traffic signal. As I gazed at the orderly traffic around me (well yea it was still early morning and I was in that part of the city where the traffic of fairly organized) a thought triggered off. The traffic rules, and the way the automobiles took turns to move in their respective direction, made it almost comical. It looked so orderly. So Process led. So Automated. Almost like Toyland.

I then deliberately looked around me, looking for more such signs of the organized world we are in.

I saw a bus with police officers seated neatly in rows, probably off to work.

A queue of 12 people waiting for their turn at the ATM.

I saw a milk dispensing booth with a queue following the same order.

… and I wondered.

Yes, we live in a civilised world and to maintain a decorum we need to have laws to govern. To make it systematic so that we are able to function with ease. To go about our lives more methodically. I agree that this is essential to ensure comfort and safety in the world we live in. Alen’s family need to relocate to Spain because his office plans to start new operations in that country. For his to begin his work efficiently and to settle his family well ahead of time he needs to travel from Berlin to Air France. Thus the aircraft needs to leave on time for him and all the other passengers who need to be somewhere for something important. Thus the airline’s staff needs to be seated in that bus and reach the airport in time so that the night staff is relieved and they can go back home to their families. And a mother in one of the families needs to go to a school parent-teacher meeting… and the chain continues. Get the drift?

So yes order is essential.

However, have we taken it a bit too far?

So, bringing you back to the traffic light today, I then decided to look around and also notice abandon. Just freedom. Notice it a bit more intently than I normally do.

I saw trees with beautiful green, sparkling, fresh leaves swaying in the sudden early morning shower today.

I saw a pandemonium of parrots that flew past screeching.

A group of kids jumping in a puddle of water, totally oblivious to the world.

Another group of college students happily walking by at the pavement with large ice-cream cones singing merrily.

Clouds in the sky drifting aimlessly making it so unpredictable for me to image the next pattern that would emerge.

So, I rolled down my windows and while the cool breeze touched my face I thought to myself,

We have taken this order in our society to a whole new level. Unhealthy level. We are harming this generation. In a manner that is soon going to be irreversible., unless we get conscious about it the way we are beginning to get about our planet.

We blame the children to be constantly engaged with their phones and iPads. That they do not spend enough time to experience nature and the world around them. Well, it’s time we question ourselves. Are we the right role model? Are we inspiring enough? Do we make a big thing about marks and the peer pressure? Are we conscious of the way we speak in front of our children and about the world around?

A lot of our anxiety stems from uncertainty. The uncertainty of the future., and unknowingly we transfer our fears and anxiety it to them. The children of today are very smart. All those born post 1998ish…

These kids are clever and they will survive. We need to respect all children and their personalities. Because each is UNIQUE. (Remember, same-same is a crazy idea!)

It is we, our generation, who give ourselves undue credit. All they need to believe in, is that they are the ones who will change the world, as the world that they are in right now, is the one we created. With a structure and order of marks and a race that has left a huge number of people around the planet wondering ‘what if I did what I loved and what I was best at?’

Let us not force our children to be in the same rut.

My dear children, you are all the chosen ones to straddle across the globe, do things differently. Make conscious decisions about yourself. To be that one person who makes a difference to the lives of people around them. And I believe each one of you can be that.

And when you aspire to be that, no one can take away your confidence from you. When you are excelling at the things you love to do it is impossible to stop you from loving the life you lead and achieve your goals. and you will be more fulfilled. You will achieve your goals.

Marks don’t make you. Marks don’t define your fate. Even if you have underperformed in the eyes of the examiner you are the only one who know the effort you put in.

And that confidence defines your fate. That’s all.

There is never an age to stop learning. It only adds to you.

So when you get your marks today, or in the future, remember… The Goal is to find yourself, know yourself. The Goal is to work towards that. and the sooner you find that the closer you are to your goal. Till then keep discovering yourself.

And do not forget to BE PRESENT!

 

and the master of all my hero, Jack Ma.

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